To Do List

  

Everyone who knows me knows that I think ahead... almost too far ahead.  It's gotten much better since I've gotten to college (and survived a summer of being a camp counselor), but I still think a few steps down the road.

Keeping with people that know me, they also know I like lists.  I like post it note reminders that most likely turn into to-do lists.  My roommate freshman year probably remembers the million post it notes that line my side of the room :)

I've gotten away from post it notes and have ventured to sheets of notebook paper (that started sophomore year once I became an RA).  The lists have gotten better.  Rather than just a random list, they are now organized into different categories (depending on the list).  My categories range from school, shopping, things for a certain date, certain event, tasks to get done, prayer requests, anything that might be in my life, it's probably categorized somewhere.  They are handy little things.

I also keep a post it note stack by my bed so if I am not able to sleep due to a thought, I can write it down to remember for tomorrow and go to sleep.  [Highly recommended to those of you who can't fall asleep... worry about it in the morning!]

Newest confession of a 21 year old college student... I bought bathtub crayons last night at WalMart.  Yep, you know those crayons you can use to draw on the wall and they just wash off, yeah, they are in a cup in our shower.  Sounds funny right?  But I'm enjoying them.  How's this relate to my topic, well I think a ton while I'm in the shower, often making lists for my life: life goals, things I would love to do, things I have to do, what to make for supper, you know normal thoughts... haha.  Anyway, after getting done with my shower, I would forget all that I had thought about[aka my to do lists], so I invested in Bathtub Crayons.  No judging :)

^ true story ^

I swear I have a point in all this so bear with me.  Lists are how I get through life.  I mean, half the time the lists only exist in my head, and I don't think I'll ever finish it all, but somehow I come out on top.  God definitely provides me strength.

So where am I going with this... well ultimately I'm going to something earth shattering! [At least that's what I told my kids at camp when I let them in on this little secret].  Here it is:

Before the beginning of the earth, God knew that I would be here, in the CS lab writing this post, and He knew that you would be sitting wherever you are RIGHT NOW reading what I wrote.  Wow, before time literally began, he knew such a trivial detail of my life and yours.

...I know, I know, what's the point here?

The point is God knows everything that is going to happen in my life.  As a matter of fact, He's got a list of his own, and guess what?  I'm going to do EVERYTHING on that list, for once my list is going to be completely done.  And once it is, I'll be home where I belong, with my Heavenly Father.  Want to know the even cooler part?  Only I can do what's on that list. [Whoa!].

To repeat myself, only I can do what's on that list.  Only I have the abilities, the quirks, the personality, the flaws, the experiences, the struggles, the battles, the triumphs, the support, the family, the position, the whatever else goes on in my life to do what God has for me to do. Only me.  And He has a list for all of us!

It is so hard to swallow that idea and truly believe it.  I mean, I get stuck in a comparison mindset (more lists) of why can't I be doing what he/she is doing, or why can't I look like that, be like that, do things like that, be where they are, see what they see, experience what they do... the answer: Because he or she has a different list, and that's that.  They are the way they are so that they can do what God wants them to do, not me.

How about the fact that God loves us so much that He's already prepared everything for us.  How about the fact that I don't have to be in control anymore.  I love my lists, but they were once a really, really bad thing.  They ruled my life, or at least they did.  Lists were my way of having control over whatever I could.  Now I know the truth that I can let go of all that control because someone much bigger than I am has it.  How cool?!?!  And by letting go of that control, I also let go of the worry for the future (something that used to almost paralyze me).

I'm in a really cool point in my life right now where there are about a million paths to choose from.  I could sit here, freaking out about which one I should choose, or I could sit here, knowing that my heavenly Father has got me by the hand, guiding me with His Spirit.  There is no fear when He's always by my side.  Amazing, earth shattering concept.  And I love it.

Well, someday I will update you on the fun stuff going on outside of my thoughts, like the church retreat, the horse show this Saturday, and other things like that.  I just thought I'd share the latest thing that I've been thinking about.  Hope all is well in your world.